7 Tips for Healthy Communication in Relationships
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Everyone in relationships has struggled with communication. It happens in friendships, family relationships, romantic relationships, and work relationships, to name just the main ones. Eасh оf thеѕе relationships is іn уоur lіfе so thаt уоu can lеаrn to соmmunісаtе bеttеr, аnd thus not оnlу еxрrеѕѕ уоurѕеlf еffесtіvеlу, but also lеаrn to undеrѕtаnd the nееdѕ оf оthеrѕ. Fortunately, with these tips, you can find some keys to healthy communication.
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Keep in mind that your partner or loved ones can not read your mind
Even the most similar in thought will still process events and emotions differently . And while an outcome or ideal way to handle a situation may seem “obvious” to you, it is the very unique experiences and emotions that will affect how your loved ones – and yourself – will process and communicate your heart’s desires and concerns.
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Talk face to face
The discussion of important issues should always be done in person whenever possible. While technology seeks to make communication faster and easily accessible, it doesn’t promise tone, volume, pitch or similar to convey emotions and sincerity. Body language serves as an incredible non-verbal communicator also, sharing some inner emotions that you can discern as either openness, understanding, seclusion or even disdain – implying that perhaps the conversation you’re attempting to have is best suited for another time.
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Be honest
A healthy relationship requires honesty. Trust is imperative to a relationship because upon it, intimacy, growth and change can happen. Without transparency in the form of lying or omission of the full truth, others can begin to question motives, intentions and even the genuine love of others. Sometimes, honesty is hard to hear, but it is necessary for a healthy relationship. Certainly, there are some things that can be shared in a more gentle way, as opposed to blunt or harsh words that seek to condemn or criticize. The goal here would be to be open and honest about your struggles, feelings and concerns. Don’t shift blame or make accusations.
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Listen actively
Active listening means letting someone know that you are listening to them fully, with undivided attention. To listen with the intention to truly hear them. Do not listening for something to respond to or rebuttal with. Active listening involves eye contact. Try repeating what you have been told to ensure you understand what they are saying. Pay attention with even your body language (facing those you are listening to and avoiding fidgeting, if possible.) Avoid looking at your phone, looking down at your hands. Be cognizant of dividing your attention between those speaking and the things happening around you. While they are not always possible to tune out – they are considered disrespectful and half-engaged.
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“Sandwich” method
The sandwich method is a great go-to for conflict resolution and overall communication. Basically, you tell your partner or loved one something that is on your heart but may be hard for the recipient to hear. You can consider a “sandwich” of sorts. Do this by inserting the issue between positive comments. Avoid saying something superficial or even irrelevant, then state your concern, followed by a kind salutation. Rather, this is opening with something positive and giving the other person the benefit of the doubt regarding the circumstances you care to present. Then, following with the concern you have in a non-threatening way. Perhaps sharing your perception of the issue and how you are recognizing it is affecting you emotionally. Followed with an appreciation for their willingness to listen. Suggest a genuine desire to fix the issue because you value their friendship/relationship.
An example may sound like this: “Hi Harry, I am so proud of you and your ambition. I’ve always admired that you are such a hard worker and have a work ethic that is loyal and consistent! In wanting to share with you, I’ve realized a part of me that has been feeling somewhat resentful and even jealous of your work. This is because I’ve been desiring more time with you – the man I love. I know you are working hard to balance both providing financially and emotionally. I appreciate you listening to me and being open to discuss some plans we can make to balance our time together. Also, I appreciate the time you’ve spent selflessly providing.
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First-person statements
Something basic in couple’s therapies is that the couple learns to make first-person statements. Thіѕ mеаnѕ thаt do not аttасk уоur раrtnеr wіth ѕесоnd-реrѕоn ѕtаtеmеntѕ that are focused more on what they are doing wrong. Instead, humble yourself to focus solely on what you feel, how you react, and the ways you are responding. You, personally, are responsible for your own actions. For example, instead of saying “You never make decent meals anymore. You always get takeout.” You’ll try “I have been feeling upset lately at the number of times we have dined out. I enjoy your dinners and would like to experience you cooking more. It is not only delicious, but it also helps us save for our goals.” Even if this isn’t your exact situation, something similar, focused on “I” statements. Reflecting how you feel personally shows that you take responsibility while also sounding less accusatory and more approachable.
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Communicate through actions
It is crucial to knоw thаt we do not only соmmunісаtе thrоugh words. We саn аlѕо demonstrate how we fееl thrоugh оur асtіоnѕ. Like the popular saying goes, ‘actions speak louder than words’. In addition to the words you are speaking, the actions you portray will also show the outpouring of your heart and intentions. Having faith in your relationship is beautiful. Showing your faith in it – that is a long-term commitment and investment – is transformative.