Panic Attacks – It’s the Holidays…OMG
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It’s the holidays…OMG! What is to be the happiest time of the year can cause panic attacks just thinking about the upcoming get-togethers. Do you feel like you have to pretend to be someone else in order to survive? And oh, the questions… How old are you now? When are you getting married? Are you still trying to lose weight? Do you have a job yet? Do you still have those panic attacks? You know, It’s all in your head. There are many more that I’m sure with which you are familiar. When will it stop? Will getting married really stop their questions? Will getting a new job do it? More than likely not. Then there is their advice: “Just get over it.” “Think positive.” And, “Forget about it.”
Here are a Few Tips to Help Make This Holiday Season the Best
Approach everyone before they come up to you, but limit time with each of them.
When you arrive to your get-together, start saying hi to everyone. Shake hands, hug, make small talk, then move on. Say something like, “Will you excuse me? I see Aunt Mary and I want to say hi.” This will help reduce stress and panic attacks by knowing your time with a person is limited. Knowing you can get through the next few minutes will help immensely. You will be okay.
Have an ally.
Make plans ahead of time with a trusted family member or friend. If your ally sees you hanging out too long with someone, they will come up to you and say “There you are. Aunt Mary has been asking about you. Will you please excuse us? I’m going to take her to Aunt Mary.” This is especially helpful if you are not the type to excuse yourself from someone’s “conversational grip”. Therefore, knowing someone is there to rescue you will reduce panic attacks.
Have a backout call.
If you don’t have an ally that can be there physically, engage an ally who will call you at a predetermined time. You can then apologize that you must leave and make your escape. Because you know someone will rescue you, it will reduce panic attacks. That assurance that you will be whisked away from the place shortly adds comfort.
Be cordial and engaging.
By engaging with them you remain in control. Give compliments and ask them the questions instead of allowing them to ask you. Say things like, “That is a lovely color on you.” “I just saw your children, they are getting so big.” “I heard you went on vacation recently, tell me about it.” “How is your daughter doing in her dance class?” “How is your health? I heard you were recently I’ll.” People love to talk about themselves and their families. Keep them talking and that removes stress from you. Then? That’s right…move on to the next person. This is the strongest tip because you remain in control. Do you think this tip alone will reduce panic attacks?
Limit alcohol consumption.
You may be tempted to reach for that liquid courage but don’t. Instead of maintaining self-control, inebriation creates fear which then results in panic attacks.
If things go well, stay longer.
Finally, if things are working out better than expected there is no law that says you must leave. You may end up enjoying catching up with people. This is the best way to reduce panic attacks because you will be you. You will be engaging from a standpoint of your strengths (See our article on strengths in Panic Attacks Depression and the Holidays.
Bonus:
If someone corners you and broaches a subject with which you are uncomfortable, Do Not Panic! You can say something like, “That was so long ago. I’m a different person now, aren’t you?” “I’m sorry, but that isn’t something we should discuss here. Why don’t we get together for coffee one day?” “Would you mind not saying those things? It’s the holidays. Isn’t it better to talk about more cheerful things?”
These tips require some planning. By being prepared you will already have confidence to survive holiday get-togethers. Hence, these may be the best holidays yet…free of panic attacks.
